I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
