Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
