so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize