Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize