he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
