Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
