At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
