No subtext here. People are naked.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
