whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
