you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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