singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
