This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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