does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
