We got so high we made milksteak
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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