Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
