They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
