You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
