it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
