I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
