chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
