I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
