the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
