your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
