either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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