Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
