chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
