Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
