I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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