Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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