You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
