they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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