I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
