I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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