I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
send nudes
from the living room?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
