WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
