Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
vagina is talking i cant
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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