Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
