i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
