Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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