i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
