I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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