My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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