But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize