Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
