just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
