Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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