Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize