all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Are we still banned from the library?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
