I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
