yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
