I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its not stalking. its research.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
