Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
