So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
