how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
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