I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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