He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
