i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
