Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
