it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
