hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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