Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Michael Bay diarrhea
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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