I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
