Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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