Do vagina's smell?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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