Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
