Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Two words: nipple clamps
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