when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
