Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
